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Anger is a powerful force. It is both beautiful and destructive. It has the power to change yourself and the world.
Anger is what brought her here again. The place that she has been frequenting far too often. Her anger doesn’t change who she is to please someone else. She’s done with that. She no longer let her tears dampen her cheeks and fall to the ground. Her tear puddles were dry. It took a lot of pain to be here and pain may be what keeps her here. Her anger is beautiful in a sense that she is taking control of her life – and yet destructive in that it will hurt others. She doesn’t show her sadness because for today it’s not there. She is embracing the anger in spite of the weakness. The anger that she all too often pushes away.
Today it visited. Anger finally caught up to her and grabbed her by the hand and tugged at her while she was at her most vulnerable. Vulnerability is openness to the unknown – and anger came rushing in. She dropped her smiles that graced her face everyday for screams because she could no long hold onto the pain. She put barb-wire fences around where her boundaries used to be barren and empty. The boundaries that no one ever saw. The boundaries that people trampled on for what THEY wanted. Anger was building the sharp edged fences that she would use to protect her while she needed it. She was taking the barren and empty boundaries and shutting them off from the world. Creating boundaries that could hinder her future growth. Today, anger is destructive.
She has a full heart from taking on other people’s crap which didn’t leave room for her own. Each room was filled to the brim with the needs of everyone else that she so carefully tended to while ignoring her own crap. The thorns of her unspoken words stabbed her soul and made her angry. Angry for the words she shared with others but never believed herself. The words that she always put so eloquently turned to anger when she spoke them to her soul. Anger because she knows the truth behind them yet, doesn’t believe them. Anger for making sure others believed while she sat in the background. Her life was too much of a mess to figure out and anger told her so.
She was on fire. This was a fire that could not and would not be put out though. This fire has been kindling for years. This was no longer a fire to fear! It was a fire to fan – because in this anger, beauty comes. This would be a fire that she continued to fan. She was able to all the colors. The red for the passion of her soul, the orange for the excitement for life, the blue for the pain that she bore, the purple for the souls that she longed to heal, and yellow for the gentleness that she needed to give herself. This would be a fire that would burn for a lifetime because it would be tended to.
She let go of the smile that she always carried. The smile that she shared for others that masked the frown she wore on the inside. She is done avoiding the fire. Fire is hot and fire makes people move!! It was time for her to move!! Move forward and move on! Without fire there can be no passion – and she was full of passion.
She realized that this anger is a pathway back to trueness. A pathway back to the beginning of who she was and who she was supposed to always be. Only through fire can you begin to see the very foundation on which something is built. The foundation on which she was built. With the fire…all of the walls are gone. They are dust and ash and only the beginning remains. The beginning of who she was.
In the fire she found her worth. She found her voice. She found her feeling. Her beauty inside and the belief that she carried amazingness. That amazingness was only found through the rubble of the fire. And in that rubble, it shined with beauty!! Because she was amazing! Through the fire she is reborn. She learns what it is like to be a woman and learned that even in a mess there is beauty.
Anger is fire. Fire is magic, wise, loud, free, wild, and strong!
Anger breeds fire and fire is a painful. It’s a rebirth.
She will burn.
She will rise.
She will speak.
She will heal.
She will love.
She will be freed.
Remember…anger has a purpose! It is sacred! It is your call to action – a catalyst to propel you to better things!
Draw your boundaries. Fire makes edges your complicated and sharp. It is wilder but yet beautiful. Embrace these new textures that anger brings. Only through anger can you experience the yin/yang.
You are FIRE – let it burn.
Tonganoxie • Kansas
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