Unloveable people are everything! Join me as I share some ways of loving the unloveable in my Snippets From My Soul series navigating towards a better you!
Unlovable people are everywhere. The world is full of difficult people and it’s not always someone else. You may be the person that someone else has difficulty in showing love to. Some days those people may change. Today it may be your toddler who won’t give you five seconds to yourself and is pushing a granola bar underneath the bathroom door while tomorrow it may be the neighbor that you’ve been having a re-occurring issue with.
Unlovable people are placed in our lives at the perfect time that we need them. These people are called “sandpaper people” in my mind. They are the ones that annoy, irritate, bother, harass, and generally make life difficult.
“When people hurt you over and over, think of them as sandpaper.
They’ll scratch and hurt you.
But in the end, you’ll be shining and polished.”
The main purpose of sandpaper is to smooth rough surfaces. We all have rough surfaces. You are going to have people that are the sandpaper for you and you will be the sandpaper for them.
5 Steps to Loving the Unlovable
GO SLOW – you don’t make friends overnight but you sure can make enemies overnight. Go slow in making friends and go slow in angering them. Loving the unlovable isn’t for the faint of heart.
BE CURIOUS – everyone you meet is on their own path. You don’t know where that person is on their journey and you don’t know what they have dealt with that has challenged their heart. Maybe they’re being unlovable at the moment because they are suffering from cancer, depression or just learned of the death of someone close to them. People inherently want to be happy and show love – when they aren’t, there are usually factors that are conflicting in them that has their being off-kilter.
SERVE – Sometimes when you are approached with a challenging person, you don’t need to use your words to speak to them. You simply serve in other ways. Maybe they’re sick and need a meal. Maybe you live across from an old, cranky man. Everyday you try to say “hi” to him while checking the mail and he ignores you. Instead of letting the anger get to you, maybe offer to help him inside or check his mail for him. He may have debilitating pain and simply checking the mail wears on his frail bones. There are many ways to serve without using words.
KEEP SHOWING UP – sometimes this means distancing yourself from a person, but when you do see them, you are still kind and loving. When they are away from you, show up in prayer. Ask God to soften your heart and their heart.
EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN
Questions to journal about:
Write about someone that you consider “unlovable”. Why are they hard to love? What could you do this week to serve them?
Write about a time that you were unlovable and someone else offered you grace when you needed it? What outside factors caused you to be unlovable at that time?
Do you recognize a relationship you it’s actually YOU that needs to recalibrate your thinking? What hard truths is this person trying to reveal to you?
I’m sure you know lots of people who came to mind when you read this. What are your thoughts on this tough subject??