Affirmations and Validation

It’s no secret.  I need validation.  It’s a part of who I am.  Is that narcissistic?  Maybe.  Is it selfish?  Maybe.  But the fact of the matter is that I do.  On a daily basis I look for the approval of others to complete daily tasks and make certain decisions.  I worry about what so-and-so will think if I make this decision and that.

You may ask yourself how that is possible for someone who is such a hermit.  Well, it’s complicated.  And my therapist loves that I pay her big bucks to figure this out.

So yes…I need affirmation and validation from people on a daily basis.  Which is why when I read THIS book, I felt AHHHH…mazing!!!  This was TOTAL VALIDATION for me!  And not in the sense that I am trying to live a life like the author, but in the sense that I finally realize I am not alone. I must say that Elizabeth Gilbert is my long-lost soul sister.  She just doesn’t know it yet.  She will….if I ever meet her 🙂  She has lived a life of such uncertainty, questions and depression.  Much like me.  Living her life through this book opened my eyes exponentially!!  THERE ARE OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE LIKE ME!!  So many things resonated with me as I read the words on each page.

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.  You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometime even travel around the world looking for it.  You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.  And once you have achieved that state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

Unfortunately, I suffer from depression and this reminds me that happiness is a daily battle.  It is something that you must work toward EVERYDAY!  We’re all going to have bad days.  But there is happiness to be found and you have to stay afloat on top of it!!

“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.  But to live with a soul mate forever?  Nah.  Too painful.  Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.  And thank God for that.  Your problem is you just can’t let this one go.  It’s over.  Their purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that relationship that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it.  That was his job, and he did it, but now it’s over.”

So much can be taken from the above.  Let’s break it down.  Soul mates are not for life!  Soul mates come and go.  Someone being a soul mate does not mean it is a “lover” as media likens it to.  Soul mates can come in form of husbands, wives, best friends, co-workers, bosses, etc.  They can be anything that “shakes you up” in your personality.  Someone who makes you question your morals, values and being into growing your self into a better person.  I’ve had some of these relationships in life and the reality is that they do leave.  It’s very heart breaking at the time because we don’t always know in the moment the reasons why.  You know the story about having relationships that are here for a season??  That’s what this means.  We have soul mates that meet us along our paths and show up when our souls are ready to learn what they are teaching.  REMEMBER THAT!

“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.”

The key word for me in this quote is “imperfectly”!  I am the queen of looking from the outside to what “other people” may have and how they act.  My life is made for me.  I am imperfect and THAT IS OK!  You know those people I look at next door?!?!  I bet you didn’t realize that they’re imperfect too!  Isn’t that AWESOME!!!

And lastly,

“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”

WOW!!  Remember those times that you were happy with the person you are and called yourself “friend”.  Don’t get me wrong, friends serve a very important purpose, but so often we look for “outside” friends to fulfill our needs when all we need to do is become unguarded with ourselves.  Then you will find the one “true” friend you need.

Be good to yourself!!

I highly recommend this book to EVERYONE!!!!!

What’s a book you have read that has made the most emotional impact in your life?