Embracing Your Comeback

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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a JOY! ~ Rumi

Before my creative passion hit, I created for myself.  I created because it brought me joy.  I didn’t create to sell.  I didn’t create to bring other people happiness.  I created because it was my passion.  My audience started tiny, solely composed of close friends and family.  Nothing was really planned in advance simply because I was just creating and doing what I enjoyed with passion.  I didn’t worry about what other people thought or hole myself in a corner and worry about trying to impress anyone.  I was creating for the people who knew the real me, the in-person me.

Then it progressed it to a business filled with love, hope and possibility.  I was no longer creating for family and friends but to creating for the masses.  I started to people-please.  And my passions went from creating from what’s in my heart, to creating what others are expecting from me.  Owning a business is part pleasing others, but not to the sacrifice of losing your passion.  That is the fire that started and the fire that will keep you going!  You must continue with passion – you must do with your soul!  I started creating less and less and giving more and more – all to the detriment of my personal and family health.

So what do you do when your passions don’t feel fun anymore?  When you hear the tiny echo of your soul telling you that you’ve strayed from your true heart.  I am thankful for the life that I have been blessed with!  But it got overwhelming.  I took on to much.  I created for the dollars and no longer for the reason.  My reason is to touch and reach people’s hearts and souls.  It took a back seat and it was beginning to hurt.  I had a greater purpose and I wasn’t fulfilling it.  Everything around me started falling away.

I was really confused and some days I still am.  Confused trying to figure out where this life is headed.  I am mourning the past version of myself that I held on to so dearly.  The me that carried sparks of passion into the future and that I had let die. I’ve begun surrendering.  I’m recognizing that my past steps may look nothing like my next steps.  Life doesn’t always take an orderly linear fashion – and that is hard to grasp.  My life was taking a turn and I didn’t know how to approach that turn.  I started counseling and shed some heavy skin that brought me down.  I take deep breaths daily knowing that I don’t know what my next step will look like or that if I will even be able to take the right step.  I reluctantly admit that I have no clue where in the hell I am going.

I am beginning to make my comeback – even if I don’t know what the final result was going to look like.

This comeback isn’t pretty and it isn’t easy.  I am starting slow.  I am bringing only those along that deserve to be by my side – those that support me and love me no matter what the end result looks like.  I am wiping my slate clean and only writing what my hearts desires.

I’ve have to get clear and real with my feelings – even when they hurt like hell.  I have to remind myself 1000 times a day that I am worth it and that my following my heart is not selfish.  I am a fascinating person, just like we were all created to be.  My story is going to be vastly different than everyone else’s and that’s the way it’s supposed to be!  My story is not your story and your story isn’t mine.

I am understanding that I don’t always need to know what my next big thing is.  I may wake up tomorrow and not know the answer of how to move forward – but I’ll take the small steps to try to get there.  Even when I don’t see the end goal.  The smallest, most microscopic steps are sometimes the ones that take you the furthest because that’s when you fought the hardest.  You chose to go forward and not fall back.  I am tuning into my hidden, wild heart!

I am learning to enjoy the rain knowing that there is a rainbow to be seen when it’s all over.  I am letting the rain give me a sense of mental clarity.

May you continue to forge your own trail.  Make your write love letters to the world.  May you make bold choices.  May you notice all of the wild miracles that surround you.  May you face each new day with a raw heart and without expectations, ready to create the life and the comeback that your soul deserves.

So when life throws you a curve ball and you don’t know whether to hit it or duck out of the way, embrace it!  Don’t let it knock you down and get you off track.  It’s time to get back to YOU!  The YOU that you were created to be.  The YOU that God breathed life into.  The YOU that has amazing things to share with the world.  The YOU that is going to understand your weaknesses and use them to foster your greatest strengths!  The YOU that deserves a life of love, happiness, and passion.  Because without passion, you truly aren’t living.  Chose to create your life that is beyond your wildest dreams!

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