When the Most Wonderful Time of the Year Feels Like One More Thing to Do

Finding room for grace, rest, and what really matters this holiday season.

We’re heading into the holiday season, and I’ve been thinking about how quickly this time of year can become overwhelming. Before we’ve even put away the fall decorations, we’re thinking about Thanksgiving, Christmas shopping, decorating, family gatherings, and cooking. Then there are all the little things we want to make special for the people we love. There’s something beautiful about this season, and I genuinely love so much of it. But I also know how easily the things we enjoy can turn into things we feel obligated to do. Before long, we’re so busy creating a beautiful holiday that we barely give ourselves time to enjoy it.

And I wonder how many of us are heading into the holiday season already feeling a little tired.

A Weird Couple of Weeks

The past couple of weeks have been a little weird for me. I’ve been dealing with high blood pressure and the side effects of the cancer medications I’m on now. Some days I feel pretty good, and other days my body reminds me that I’m still walking through something really hard. I’m trying to listen to what my body needs, but that hasn’t been easy. My whole life, I’ve been someone who likes to stay busy. I love creating, working on new ideas, and feeling like I’ve accomplished something at the end of the day. Lately, though, I’ve had to accept that what I want to do and what I have the energy to do aren’t always the same thing.

And if I’m being truthful, that’s been frustrating.

I still have responsibilities, work that needs my attention, and things I genuinely need to finish. Life doesn’t stop just because we’re tired, and I know so many women understand that feeling. You might be working long hours, caring for aging parents, or helping with grandchildren. You might be managing health challenges, or simply trying to keep up with everyday life. Whatever your circumstances look like, many of us know what it’s like to carry more than we have the energy to handle.

And then the holidays come along, bringing a whole new list of things we think we should be doing.

When Everything Starts Feeling Like a To-Do List

I’ve always been a list maker. I like having a plan, knowing what I need to do, and crossing things off as I go. There’s something satisfying about looking back at the end of the day and seeing progress. Lately, though, I’ve noticed how much of my satisfaction with a day comes from what I’ve accomplished. I’ve also noticed how quickly I get frustrated with myself when I don’t get as much done as I’d hoped.

I’ll sit down to rest because I know I need to, but before long, my mind starts wandering. I think about the projects I haven’t finished and the things I need to prepare. Then there are all the little responsibilities that seem to pile up faster than I can take care of them. Instead of enjoying the rest my body needs, I end up feeling guilty. Somehow I think I should be doing something more productive.

This Didn’t Start With Cancer

I know this isn’t something cancer created in me. I’ve always been this way. Cancer has simply made it harder to keep up with the expectations I’ve carried for years. Before, I could usually push through a busy day and accomplish what I wanted to. Now there are days when pushing harder isn’t an option, and I’m having to figure out how to be okay with that.

You may have felt that same frustration for completely different reasons. Maybe life has changed in ways you never expected. Or you’ve simply reached a point where you’re tired of feeling like everything depends on you. You love your family and you care about your responsibilities. You want to make life beautiful for the people around you, but somewhere along the way, you started feeling like you needed to do it all.

And I think the holidays can make that feeling even stronger.

Who Says the Holiday Season Has to Be Perfect?

I love the traditions that come with Christmas. I love the decorations, the creativity, the special moments with family, and all the little things that make this season feel different from the rest of the year. But I also wonder how often we take those beautiful things and turn them into expectations. And those expectations can leave us feeling overwhelmed.

We want our homes to look inviting, our gifts to be thoughtful, and our meals to turn out just right. We want our families to have wonderful memories. None of those desires are wrong. But somewhere along the way, we can start believing we’ve fallen short. Maybe we didn’t do everything we’ve always done. Maybe this year’s Christmas doesn’t look quite as beautiful as someone else’s.

You might have felt that pressure scrolling past a beautifully decorated home on social media. Or you heard about all the special traditions another family has planned. Suddenly you’re thinking you should be doing more, buying more, making more, or finding one more way to make the season magical.

What Our Families Actually Need This Holiday Season

But I wonder how many of those expectations are things our families actually need from us. And how many are things we’ve convinced ourselves we have to do?

I’ve been thinking about that because this year I’m having to be more intentional about where I spend my energy. There are things I’d love to do that I may not physically be able to do. That’s a hard reality for someone who enjoys creating and making things special. But I’m also wondering if this holiday season could be an opportunity to look at what truly matters. I don’t want to spend it trying to keep up with everything I’ve always done.

Not because the traditions aren’t important, but because maybe some of them don’t need to carry quite so much pressure.

When Even Time With God Makes the List

Something else I’ve been wrestling with lately is making sure I spend time with God every day. That’s always been important to me. Throughout this cancer journey, I’ve needed that time in His Word more than ever. But when my energy is low and my mind is juggling so many different things, I have to write absolutely everything down so I don’t forget it.

And yes, that sometimes includes my time with God.

I’ve struggled with that because I don’t want my relationship with Him to feel like another task. I don’t want to open my Bible just so I can check something off my list and move on to the next thing. What I genuinely want is to spend time with Him. I want to keep growing in my faith, learning from His Word, and letting Him work in my heart through this holiday season.

Some days I’m tired before the day has even started. Even when I sit down with my Bible, my mind wanders to everything else waiting for me. Then I start wondering whether I’ve spent enough time reading or praying. That familiar feeling of not doing enough creeps in again.

Spiritual Discipline or Spiritual Performance?

I wonder how many of us experience something similar during the holidays. We talk about keeping Christ at the center of Christmas. Then we fill our calendars with so many things that we end up squeezing our time with Him in between everything else.

And I don’t say that to make anyone feel guilty. I’m sharing it because I’m trying to work through it myself.

I’ve been thinking about the difference between spiritual discipline and spiritual performance. Spiritual discipline is being intentional about our relationship with God because we love Him and want to grow closer to Him. Spiritual performance is when we start measuring that relationship by how much we accomplish.

And I think we can find ourselves caught somewhere between those two things, especially when we already feel the pressure to do more.

A Little More Mary and a Little Less Martha

I’ve been spending some time with the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38–42. Martha was busy preparing and serving while Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him. Eventually, Martha became frustrated because she was doing all the work. Honestly, I can relate to her more than I’d like.

I understand seeing everything that needs doing and feeling responsible for making sure it happens. I understand how difficult it can be to sit still when things are waiting for your attention. And I certainly understand the frustration of feeling like you’re the one holding everything together.

Jesus gently reminded Martha that she was worried and distracted by many things, while Mary had chosen what mattered most. He wasn’t saying that serving was wrong or that preparing for guests had no value. He was reminding her that all the busyness was keeping her from simply being present with Him.

Missing Jesus in the Holiday Season Rush

And I can’t help but think about how easily we can do the same thing during the holidays.

We spend weeks preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Yet sometimes the preparations keep us so busy that we barely make room to enjoy His presence. We decorate, shop, cook, and make plans. All the while, we tell ourselves we’ll slow down and enjoy Christmas once we finish everything.

But what if everything doesn’t have to be perfect for us to experience the beauty of the season?

What if we could enjoy the decorations without needing every room to look perfect? Could we make memories with our families without filling every weekend with activities? And could we celebrate Christmas without feeling like we have to prove how much we love our families by how much we do for them?

Those are questions I’ve been asking myself. I think they’re worth considering before we get too far into the holiday hustle.

Rest Isn’t Something We Have to Earn This Holiday Season

There’s another passage in Mark 6:31 where Jesus invites His disciples to come away to a quiet place and rest. They had been doing important work, serving and ministering to people. But Jesus recognized that they needed to step away for a while.

What stands out to me is that He didn’t tell them to finish everything first. There was still work to do and people who needed them, but He understood that rest was necessary.

Rest Isn’t a Reward for Productivity

I think many of us struggle to accept that because we treat rest like a reward for productivity. We tell ourselves we’ll sit down after we clean the house, wrap the gifts, and make the meal. We’ll rest once we finish everything on our list.

But there’s always something else that needs to be done, isn’t there?

And if we keep waiting until everything is finished before we let ourselves rest, we may spend the entire holiday season exhausted and frustrated.

I’m trying to learn that resting doesn’t mean I’m neglecting the things that matter. It doesn’t mean I’m giving up on my responsibilities. It doesn’t mean I suddenly care less about the people and things God has entrusted to me. Sometimes it simply means recognizing my limits. Continuing to push myself isn’t always the wisest or most faithful choice.

That’s been difficult for me because I still have responsibilities that genuinely need my attention. I still have work to do, bills to pay, and things I can’t simply set aside. And I know many of you are in the same position. We can’t always clear our schedules or step away from everything that’s demanding our time.

But maybe we can begin to recognize the difference between what we truly need to do and the expectations we’ve placed on ourselves. Many of those expectations aren’t nearly as important as we’ve made them.

Giving Ourselves the Same Grace We Give Everyone Else

One thing that’s been humbling this season is seeing how easily I encourage someone else to give herself grace. Meanwhile, I struggle to extend that same kindness to myself.

Through The Ruffled Daisy, I’ve spent years encouraging women to see that crafting their stories is about so much more than making something beautiful with their hands. It’s about what God is doing in our hearts. It’s about learning to see His hand in every chapter of our lives. And it’s about remembering that what we accomplish doesn’t determine our worth.

And here I am, walking through a season where I’m having to remind myself of those very same things.

When the List Is Unfinished

I can encourage another woman to slow down and take care of herself without feeling guilty. But when I’m the one looking at an unfinished list, it’s not quite so easy. I start thinking about what I could have done differently or how I might have managed my time better. I wonder whether I should have pushed myself just a little harder.

Maybe you’ve done that, too. You’re quick to recognize when someone else is overwhelmed, and you’d never expect her to keep pushing until she has nothing left. But when it comes to your own life, you somehow believe you should be able to handle everything.

I think the holidays can bring that struggle to the surface. We want so badly to make everything meaningful for the people we love. We want everyone to feel special, everyone to be happy, and everything to come together just right.

But somewhere in the middle of caring for everyone else, I wonder how often we forget that we need care, too.

Grace in Weakness

Second Corinthians 12:9 reminds us that God’s grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness. I’ve held onto that Scripture throughout my cancer journey. But I’m discovering that accepting grace can be difficult when you’re used to being strong and capable.

I still have dreams, things I want to accomplish, and memories I want to make. I’m not looking to stop living my life or give up on the things that bring me joy. But I’m learning that this season may need to look different from what I’m used to. And that doesn’t mean it has to be any less meaningful.

Maybe yours needs to look different, too.

What If We Approached Christmas Differently This Year?

As we head into the holidays, I’ve been thinking about how I want to approach the next couple of months. I don’t want to spend the entire season frustrated with myself because I couldn’t accomplish everything. I don’t want to focus so hard on creating beautiful memories that I miss the ones happening right in front of me. And I don’t want my relationship with God to become something I squeeze into an already overflowing schedule.

I want to be intentional about what matters, but I also want to be realistic about what I have to give.

Keeping the Holiday Season Simple

That might mean choosing a few traditions that are especially meaningful instead of doing everything we’ve always done. It might mean keeping things simpler or asking for help. Or it might mean recognizing that the people we love don’t need a perfectly decorated home or an elaborate celebration to feel loved.

And maybe it means remembering that Christmas was never meant to be a competition to see who could create the most beautiful holiday.

I think about the circumstances surrounding Jesus’ birth. No elaborate celebration or perfectly prepared home waited for Him. He came in humble circumstances, and yet that moment changed everything.

There’s something about that simplicity that I don’t want to lose sight of.

We can spend so much time trying to make Christmas beautiful that we forget the beauty of what we’re actually celebrating. The birth of our Savior, the gift of God’s love, and the hope we have because of Him.

And none of those things depend on how much we accomplish between now and December 25.

Still Learning, Still Growing, Still Crafting My Story

I wish I could tell you I’ve figured out how to balance everything, but I haven’t. I still struggle with feeling like I should be doing more. My energy still doesn’t always match my plans, and that still frustrates me. Some days I sit down to rest, only to find my mind racing through everything waiting for me.

But I’m trying to change the way I look at those days.

Instead of only asking whether I’ve accomplished enough, I’m trying to ask whether I’ve been faithful with what I actually had to give. What we have to give won’t always look the same. I don’t want to spend this season comparing what I can do today with what I could do in a completely different chapter of my life.

Making Room for What Matters Most

I don’t believe God is asking us to abandon our responsibilities. I know that slowing down isn’t always as simple as clearing our calendars. We still have families to care for, work to do, and things that genuinely need our attention. But maybe we can be a little more intentional about what we add to those responsibilities. And maybe we can be a little more gracious with ourselves when we can’t do everything.

I’ve spent years encouraging women to see their lives as stories God is continually crafting. I believe that includes the chapters we wouldn’t have chosen. Those are the chapters where life is messy, our energy is limited, and we learn things about ourselves we might have missed otherwise.

This holiday season can be an opportunity to create something meaningful without feeling like everything has to be perfect. We can enjoy the traditions that matter most and release a few of the expectations weighing us down. And we can make room for moments of genuine rest and connection.

And maybe we can remember that we’re still crafting beautiful stories, even when those stories don’t look quite the way we imagined.

What Are You Carrying Into This Holiday Season?

I don’t know what you’re carrying into this holiday season. You may be excited and full of energy, or you may already feel overwhelmed by everything ahead. This year might look different because of health challenges, financial struggles, grief, or changes in your family. Whatever your circumstances, I hope you know that you don’t have to make everything perfect to make this season meaningful.

I’m reminding myself of that, too, because I have a feeling I’m going to need that reminder more than once over the next couple of months.

I’d love to hear from you. As we head into the holidays, what’s one thing you feel pressured to do that you could simplify or let go of this year? It might be a tradition you’ve outgrown or the pressure to make everything look perfect. Or it might simply be the feeling that you have to do it all.

I think there’s something beautiful about encouraging one another to make room for what matters most. That’s especially true during a season meant to remind us of the greatest gift we’ve ever been given.

Crafting Your Story, One Project at a Time.

Beth | The Ruffled Daisy ❤️