Soul Search

Want Grace? – Be Real With The World

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Screw the pretty pics today. I’m gonna show you what real life is in my house … behind the scenes.

We’ll start at the end…a master bathroom that was photo ready when I “framed my mirror” a couple years ago …but now has a piece of wood that has fallen and hasn’t been replaced. How about a month needing to be replaced. I’ll talk more about that when I talk about picture one. Anyways … life is messy. And it breaks. And sometimes we don’t have the energy to fix it. We can use makeup and straighten our hair for hours…but it still doesn’t make the mess go away. You see that “queen” sign? Most days I don’t feel that way. It’s a good reminder though. I leave this room every morning with a smile on my face, but ultimately my soul is as dirty as the room itself. But guess what … it’s a washroom … which means it cleanses… I guess I need to take the analogy to heart a little more before I leave that room everyday.

Oh the rabbit ears! They’re a photo prop that I just HAD to have. A purchase from EASTER! It’s almost August people?! And the rabbit ears are still gracing my mantle. Along with a 4th of July plaque that I don’t show. I bought those rabbit ears because they made me smile! I bought them at a hospital gift shop. I was giddy when I found them ? I needed them that day. Maybe I should pack them away for next year – but MAYBE I should leave them so I see them everyday as a reminder to look through the lens of life a little differently. Someday our focus can be so wide, that we need to change focus and look through a small hole so we can see what truly matters. You know what else – they’re gonna likely be there for awhile because depression does that to you.  I don’t have the energy most days to do more than just make it through.  The holiday re-decorating will come at a later time.  Hmmm….I just pulled that one out of mid-air!! Wasn’t planning on that analogy for this post – but I’m gonna go with it. Change your focus peeps!

Oh the water jugs – reminders of busy days at the ball fields and time that goes to fast. I despise that these grace my counters EVERY…SINGLE…DAY…. they’re a reminder that I am providing a good life for my boys even when it is sucking my bank account dry. These bottles are constantly being washed and reused. Daily. They come home beaten and dirty from ball fields and I clean them and make them ready for the next day. I’m not gonna lie – there has been a time or two when one of those jugs was filled with “momma’s drink” ? it’s called sanity. And in these fast times you take what you can get. It goes fast and I’m constantly reminded “you’re gonna miss this”.

Ohhh the last pic – revealing that I am broken. I may have a messy home and I may have decor from holidays past … but I also have remnants of my anger. Yep … depression and anxiety do that to ya ? anger that you can’t figure out how to get out comes out in crazy ways. Yep…I kicked my bedroom wall. I’d like to tell you that it was my husbands fault since we were arguing…but it wasn’t. That was my foot. And it was my anger that put it through the the wall. And remember the bathroom photo…that’s why the frame from the mirror was detached. I bet you didn’t know that about me and I can almost bet that some of you are going to horribly judge me now. Guess what? My weakness of anger is the same as your weakness of guilty eating. Or your weakness of tobacco addiction. Or your weakness of shopping. What makes one better than the other? Nothing! They’re both weaknesses and we ALL have them! You may not have a physical hole in a wall like I do – but we all have holes in our lives.

Here’s the thing though…that hole can be patched, just like in the photo. And we can put some pretty paint on it and make it look like it had never been there before. Life offers you the same grace. You don’t have to keep showing those holes to the world. By God’s grace and forgiveness you will patch and repair that hole you put in your own soul.

So, recognize you are a Queen, put on your makeup and cleanse yourself every morning. Pick up the glasses that help you focus on the little things that matter and bring you happiness. Clean up the messes life gives you everyday knowing they’ll be there again tomorrow and that all to soon you’ll look back on good times. And most importantly, begin to patch the holes in your life that need fixing.

I’m praying for you. The world needs you and the world needs me. And most importantly, the world needs us to be real with each other. Why? Because that’s how you get and give grace.

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