Bittersweet Birthday

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Today is a very bittersweet day for me.  14 years ago today I gave birth to my second baby girl, Selina.  She was perfect in every way.  The Lord allowed me to be her mother for 10 weeks before taking her home to be with him.

There was no sickness {apart from colic} during her short time here and because of that I can smile.  There are so many children afflicted with illnesses that hinder them having a wonderful time here on this earth, yet Selina was not one of them.  SIDS struck her and therefore we knew nothing about losing her until the very day that it happened.  Of course I am happy that she didn’t suffer, but I am also sad because I feel like I could have done soooo much more for her in the 10 weeks she was mine to show her how much I loved her and how proud I was to call her mine.

Feelings overwhelm me sometimes.  Just last week I attended a funeral that was at the cemetery when Selina was buried.  It was very hard on me to be there.  Not because of the experience I had there but because I feel like I still don’t show her enough what she truly means to me.  I don’t visit her as often as I should.  I can blame it on a busy life but deep down I know that I can make the time to visit her.  With my absence, I pray everyday and hope that she knows how much I miss her and can’t wait to see her someday.  I know she is looking down celebrating the life that she had in my care!

Happy Birthday my dear angel, Selina!!  I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again someday…

0 thoughts on “Bittersweet Birthday”

  1. I can't even begin to imagine how sad that loosing a small child would be. I am sure she knows how much she was loved. You will get to see her again. (((((HUGS))))

  2. My mom also gave birth today 38 years ago — to a stillborn baby name Constance Denise — I think about her all the time, and wonder what it would have been like to have an older sister. I feel your pain *HUG* Thinking about you today….

  3. Beth–
    I am so sorry you had to go through this kind of life experience. As a Momma to almost 5 babies, I can't even imagine what you went through. I have only experienced one miscarriage. That was hard enough. You are one strong woman. She knows that. She knows you love her. You are in my thoughts!

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